Weekly Highs and Lows, Week 2

Below is a quick highs/lows summary for the week I’m sending to Laura this week:

Let’s start with the lows of this week. It’s mostly observations and I’m not ready to make judgments on it, but there are three things on my mind. First, I was kissed by a guy nine times, second, I’m having trouble adjusting to preexisting social dynamics, and third, my internship isn’t going super well. Starting at the top, I was alone in Hyde Park; I left to meet some friends who I couldn’t get into contact with, so I sat down and started writing on my laptop knowing very well that parks are large and no formal plans have been made other than “we’re going to the park” and “ok I’ll be there in an hour.” I did some homework, which is to write a story inspired by some type of physical place in London. I forgot his name, but I met a man working at a hotel. He started a conversation with me, and there was a hard communication gap (he’s from Barcelona), but we spoke for fifteen minutes before I explained I should go home before it gets dark. He wanted my phone number, so I gave it to him and he asked for a hug, so I gave him one. Then he started kissing me on the cheek which surprised me, but I know that’s a European thing so I went along with it. I knew something was up when he didn’t stop kissing me and the kisses on the cheek felt a bit more romantic than friendly. He texted me a few times, one that I was cute and another simple ‘hello,’ but I have not texted back. Lastly, I’m adjusting to the social dynamic at the new workplace. There are freelancers, but everyone seems to know each other and the four I know best went off to lunch to talk about a future show leaving me, the stage manager, and the electrician alone. I asked them if they wanted to get lunch and the stage manager said “yes,” the electrician didn’t really say anything, and I am hungry because it’s 1PM. Most people don’t seem to get lunch until 2PM. She said yes, then sort-of proceeded to pack her stuff, and then went downstairs and I haven’t seen her in 10 minutes. I could go try to find her, I could go get lunch myself, I don’t know really know what she meant by the words “yes.” To me the words “yes” mean “yes,” but we’re on lunch break now and she just vanished So group dynamics definitely need work. I know it takes me a long time to get settled in and relaxed, I hope I can relax more, but I don’t know how. Perhaps I’ll try to pick up a book if I can find one.

The highs were good; we went to Stonehenge and Bath on Saturday. The roman baths were beautiful; however, I likely wouldn’t want to swim in it because they are green. I decided that when I become a billionaire, I’m going to have a swim party and have the baths sanitized for my birthday. I wish I could have stayed in Bath for an extra day so much so that I looked at AirBNBs and quickly looked at the logistics of returning home via the overground; however, I had work the next day (yes - a Sunday), so I left and returned home. During that bus ride, I played a board game with the girls next to me and later that evening I played Uno with Jackie and Michelle. Lastly, I booked a flight to Dublin yesterday. I’m going by myself, but I’m meeting Laura Bute, another student who is studying there. I’m flying down on Thursday night and leaving Friday night to return to London, only leaving me with 24hrs there, but I hope it’s enough to explore the cliffs and return home only to leave for Oxford the next day.

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I’m going to experiment with more logical or creative writing in the next few days. I’ve found myself waiting to be in a heightened emotional state, thinking it will make my tone more entertaining. James Scott Bell, a novelist and writing instructor at The Great Courses spoke on the importance of writing, even when you don’t feel like it. I want to become a better writer; I think I’m already a decent writer, but I’m not writing anything compelling and worth reading. In order to do that, I’m going to start forcing myself to write, even when I don’t… without the use of alcohol. It might be scenes, it might be short narratives from an outside perspective that mean nothing to me. Stay tuned everyone.

Lastly, a friend told me my podcast doesn’t suck, so I’ll be renaming it soon. “shitshow.mchase.me” was created to keep set the bar low letting me make vague and unverifiable and nonexistent claims. I didn’t put much effort into them; however, someone listened, someone liked it, and now someone says it shouldn’t be called shitshow and I agree. The new name is to be determined. Sadly I’ll have to release a new RSS feed.